"It's funny to think about the things in your life that can make you cry just knowing that they existed, can then become the same thing that makes you cry knowing that they're now gone. I think those things come into our lives to help us get from one place to a better one." —Ted Lasso
This Saturday we'll go pick up our new puppy, a Newfoundland named Moira, from Pennsylvania after Max's soccer game. I guess I felt the need to share this nugget of info with you all because I never really discussed Beesly's passing last November on my blog. Even now, almost eleven months later, it's hard to type that sentence. I still struggle with the reality that she's gone, and I can't come up with adequate words to describe the role she played in our family's story. I miss her. Dearly. To some, it's just a dog, but for me she was a childhood dream that came to life. How amazing is that? To have one of your dreams come to life. The twelve years we spent together were far sweeter than I could have ever imagined. She changed each of us for the better. That girl was everything to this family. She was with us from the beginning—a newly married couple embarking on an Air Force adventure, and then on to the ultimate challenge of parenthood where she acted as Maxwell's furry nanny. During times of loneliness when Flyboy was away and the countless unknowns that come with the military lifestyle, she brought pure joy, comfort, and consistency to my day. While attempting to navigate motherhood in Swell Rio with a colicky baby and a husband working long days, it was Beesly who would come looking for me when I'd go hide in my closet. Even after we moved from Texas to Delaware, she may have slowed down, but she never stopped looking for me, and I think that's what I miss the most. We'd secretly convene, just the two of us girls, and take a moment to breathe and just be. She reminded me to slow down and count my blessings. She made everything feel alright. My dearest BMD, you will always be a BFD to me.
As excited as I am to welcome this new puppy, I still miss my best friend. Not a day goes by where I don't think of her and tear up a little. I know there's no replacing her; nothing ever will, but I do believe it's time to open my heart and welcome this new adventure. We could use a little mess and a whole lot of magic around here. Beesly would want that. As silly as it sounds, I like to think of it as though Queen Bee is passing the baton to Moira, probably prepping her with puppy cliff-notes about cheese puffs and Legos. I sure hope this Newf is ready because the Fines are eager to call her family. There's a lot of love to be shared and life to be lived. There's also a place in my closet to snuggle if she's willing.