|My Little Fine's ETA: October 12, 2014|
Last fall, we hopped over to The Valley Isle for a little getaway. It was our last Hawaiian hurrah before we moved to Texas—one of those blissful trips you catch yourself daydreaming about—one that's brimming with unforgettable memories. It was the trip that Flyboy cycled the shores of Maui to the summit at Mt. Haleakala. The trip where we sipped fizzy gin drinks by the water. I devoured the most insane ice cream sandwich ever. Oh, and we made a pact to start a family in the coming months. Say what?! Yeah, those are the kinds of moments you can't capture on Instagram. Perhaps we were under some sort of vacation spell, or maybe we were surrounded by friends who were embarking on this next chapter themselves, but we decided that I'd finish off my last three-month prescription and leave the rest to fate. From everything we'd heard and read, conception could take up to six months or even a year. Ha! As the last of my pills began to disappear, I got cold feet. In early November, I wanted to renege on our decision at the last minute, but Flyboy reminded me about our pact. I was impressed by his persistence and a little bit scared, but we made an agreement. Not to mention, is there ever really a GOOD time? And we knew we'd start our family while we were living in Swell Rio.
Little did we know that on Valentine's Day of 2014 our lives would change forever. I woke up that morning and felt under the weather. I expressed my concerns to Flyboy and asked him to pick up a test on his way home from work. That morning, I was a ball of nerves. I just had this weird feeling "it" was really happening. To take my mind off of things, FB persuaded me into dancing to Pharrell's "Happy" at around 5:30 am in the kitchen. At that point, it was part of our morning routine. It helped slightly, but I spent the remainder of the day pacing and my mind was racing. I didn't feel happy. I felt so confused. What if this was actually happening?! When he arrived home from work, I took the test. It was positive. FB was grinning from ear to ear, and I was bawling. I wish I could say they were tears of joy on my part, but I was in absolute shock. It wasn't supposed to happen this quickly! Am I really fit to be a mother? Tending to your American Girl dolls as a young girl is NOT the same thing as motherhood. Also, are we even old enough to be parents? Oh, and what about all the things we wanted to do before children? Clearly I had a lot on my mind, and I was thankful my parents were stuck at home with another snow day. I NEEDED to tell them. In my mind, I'd always dreamt about sharing this kind of exciting news in a creative and thoughtful manner. However, I knew I couldn't wait. I tell them everything. I HAD to talk to my mom. I needed her to tell me this was going to be alright.
Two months have passed, and I still call my mom frantically to ask her silly questions about pregnancy and motherhood. Aside from crazy hormones, random bouts of morning sickness, and a midsection that appears more like beer bloat than baby, not much has changed. If anything, I just really miss my occasional Hendrick's and Limonata cocktail—but you probably already guessed that, didn't you?! I still don't know why this is happening now. In fact, I realized that I don't know a lot about anything anymore, and I was really starting to get a hang of my twenties. Ha Ha! These days, I have more moments of doubt than excitement, but I DO know that I'm surrounded by the greatest support system. The hope and joy our family and friends have bestowed upon us makes me feel so blessed. This child is going to be so loved. I can assure you there will be plenty more neurotic moments on my part, but each day the cautious side of me allows myself to grow a little more excited and a lot more attached to this person growing inside me. Sharing this news with you is just as important to me as it is to share with close family and friends. You've become such a meaningful part of my life, and I'm elated to welcome this next chapter with you. Thanks for being part of this adventure!
Some day when I'm less ramotional (RHONY, Bravo, anyone?!), I'll share some of the funny details from these past few months.