Thursday, May 29, 2014

THURSDAY'S THOUGHTS

What will it be?! We'll find out this evening. 
THANKFUL FOR: Morning walks with Tripp and Beesly are my favorite. When we lived in Hawaii, walking wasn't really part of our routine and I missed this simple pleasure way more than I ever thought. Sure, Tripp frustrates me when he hears an unexpected sound and throws all three of us into traffic from time to time. Oy! And yes, Beesly likes to walk at a slower pace than I'd prefer. Goodness! In all honesty, it's probably not as relaxing as it should be, but I've grown to adore our trio of crazy. When I tie my shoes and grab their leashes, it's a sign the Best Friends Committee is in session. I still have moments when I find myself comparing life now to the way it was a year ago and I get confused as to which I prefer. I guess our walks, as nutty as they may be, remind me that we're exactly where we're supposed to be and that I should just be grateful for the present.

FEELING: Today I'm excited about everything! Well, I guess all this jubilee can be attributed to today's doctor's appointment, but you probably saw this one coming. At 20 weeks, Flyboy and I are more than ready to find out whether our bebe will be a boy or girl. I always thought I'd be the type of person who'd want to be surprised (shocker, I know); however, that was before I got knocked up. Ha Ha! Things kind of change when you realize it's actually happening. The planner in me prevails yet again, and I think we just want to know how to mentally prepare as best as we can. This is kind of a BIG deal! And to be completely honest, even though it's our reality, it stills feels so far away. The days feel REALLY long—you know how it is when there's a countdown to something HUGE—it feels like FOREVER. If all goes as planned, we're still 4.5 months away from meeting Little Fine. I guess finding out the gender makes us both feel a little closer to the person we'll meet in October. I'm sure once we find out whether it's a boy or girl, the excitement level will be kicked up a notch. Prepare yourself for oodles of excitement, my friends!

READING: Any time I feel overwhelmed, inadequate, or anxious, I've realized that it usually stems from the fact that I'm a perfectionist—a trait I believe is both a blessing and a curse. For every instance perfectionism has pushed me to be a tad more tenacious, there's also the dark side. Yep, it's the part of perfectionism where I automatically assume I'm not good enough or I won't be able to complete a task to my idea of excellence. It's ridiculous, but the feelings are real—it's just how I'm wired. While this trait can be an asset at times, it's mostly debilitating. The idea of bringing a child into the world scares the bejeezus outta me and I realized, with the help of my mom, that I wasn't allowing myself to enjoy the pregnancy because all aspects of my anxiety were rooted in my fear of not being perfect (at pregnancy, motherhood, etc.). Those closest to me embrace this part of me with open arms, but I don't want our kid(s) to feel this way. To better myself and keep this attribute in check, I've found a lot of comfort in books by Bren√© Brown and Anne Lamott. These two ladies are my cheap form of therapy. In fact, this particular passage from Lamott hit close to home recently—it was so on point that I found myself scribbling these words on a note card: 
"There's a whole chapter on perfectionism in Bird by Bird, because it is the great enemy of the writer, and of life, our sweet messy beautiful screwed up human lives. It is the voice of the oppressor. It will keep you very scared and restless your entire life if you do not awaken, and fight back, and if you're an artist, it will destroy you.... 
...Oh my God, what if you wake up some day, and you're 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written; or you didn't go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It's going to break your heart. Don't let this happen. Repent just means to change direction—and NOT to be said by someone who is waggling their forefinger at you. Repentance is a blessing. Pick a new direction, one you wouldn't mind ending up at, and aim for that. Shoot the moon."
EATING: About a month ago, when things finally started to settle down, I shared a handful of recipes that Flyboy and I intended to try for dinner. Only one of those meals really stands out and that's The Cookie Rookie's Grilled Salmon with Avocado Salsa. It's easy, healthy, and so delish—FB has even requested it on a weekly basis. I realize that probably sounds like overkill, but I honestly don't mind. It's THAT good! Because FB is usually working late and I don't want to be hassled by the grill, I've opted to roast the salmon in the oven instead. It's just as tasty! For those of you who've dabbled with Whole30, this recipe qualifies. Woo Hoo!

WATCHING: When we moved into our base housing unit, there was nothing green growing in the front yard. Oh, the horror! Dust and dirt that remained from previous tenants slowly ate away at Flyboy. If decorating is m' thing, this was definitely his. So we concocted a few grassy game plans, and FB got to work. After battling unruly weeds and a persnickety root system, we decided we'd be happy to just have green ANYTHING grow in the front yard. It's hard for FB to admit this, but it's our only real option at this point. I must say that it looks quite lovely when it's freshly cut. You wouldn't even know it's a yard full of weeds. Ha Ha! To ease the pain, Flyboy insists on watching episode after episode of Yard Crashers. It's gotten out of control, really. If I could imbibe, I'm sure we could create a drinking game out of it. Sip every time Flyboy says "Look at the nice grass!" We'd all be blitzed.

LISTENING TO: Speaking of grass, I'm currently listening to the sweet sound of riding lawn mowers. Per Flyboy's request, I've been given the task to halt the maintenance team from trimming our weeds grass each week. Because we're trying to fill in various spots with grass seed, FB has opted to mow the yard on his own to ensure they don't plow over his hard work. We recently placed little red flags in each corner of the yard to remind them, but they don't seem to pick up on the subtle details. At any given point, I'm ready to jump away from my desk and start waving my hands to get them to stop the mowing madness. Wish me luck!

LOVING: I recently started using Elizabeth Dehn for One Love Organics Vitamin C Body Oil, and I'm slightly obsessed. I'm not sure if it's because I'm pregnant, or because we live in an area of Texas where it's super dry, but it's exactly what my skin needed. As soon as I found out we were expecting, I spent a lot of time searching for the right lotions and creams. I like to use this one in the evenings before I hop into bed. It's a super-rich moisturizer; a little goes a long way. When I originally read about the body oil, I rolled my eyes at the fact that it supposedly "smells like vacation in a bottle." Much to my delight, it really does have a relaxing scent that transports me from Swell Rio to Maui in a matter of seconds. I think that's probably why I enjoy using it right before bedtime—suddenly it's 88 degrees and I'm seaside with the trade winds blowing. Oh, yeah!


Enough about me. How are you feeling today? What are you up to? Thanks for stopping by!!

P.S. Predict the gender and comment below! I'll share the results soon!
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